considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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