You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
