you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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