My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
please come you make the beer taste better
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
