Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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