All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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