so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
