yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
