Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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