Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
