Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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