Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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