hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
