Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize