lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
