Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
