if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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