I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
