Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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