One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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