you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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