i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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