Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
