This is not my ceiling
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
