I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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