it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
