I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
