My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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