even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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