we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
