oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
