i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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