my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
