Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
