Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
