Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
