You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
