my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just invented taco cereal.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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