we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
