Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
