the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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