Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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