everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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