Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
