this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize