You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
