im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
