nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
