You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
