Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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