I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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