I puked a lego.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
