So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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