My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
