Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
