East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
