dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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