I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
