We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
