can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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