i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Your cock deserves a montage
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize