I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
