He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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