You're so nebulous sometimes
Please, let me fuck your mom
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
