He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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