Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
