stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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